The Sky Is The Limit

Sometimes you feel lost, as if you are drifting in space, and you feel like the gravity of the sun or the stars is sucking you away from the earth, and slowly you begin to suffocate, and just at that moment. HOPE springs eternal giving you a lifeline, no matter how slim, it is there and you cling onto it, harder and stronger then ever before. You now have a path to success and you do everything to make sure that it stays as open as possible, and that entails you clearing all other thoughts from your mind, and then, just then, there is a song that blasts over your I-Pod

And you know that imma ride with my motherfuckin niggas,
Most likely imma die with my finger on the trigga,
Don't worry bout mine, imma grind til i get it
And tell all of my niggas that the sky is the limit,
The sky is the limit,
The sky is the limit,

You lie down to bed, and think that no matter what happens you will have an option down the line....

BUT FUCK THAT

Lil Wayne says it best, the fucking sky is the limit, and if you do not grind till you get it then you do not deserve it

The only thing on a mind of a shark, is eat

and that alone makes you feel like there is something more, that you deserve it, as if you might be dwayne wadem and fuck the bullshit, but you are the best, and you do fucking deserve the best.

However, this is real life, and you aint no fucking DWAYNE WADE, you are a fucking punk, or so you think, you do not believe in you. After all, D-Wade is a an all star and you aint nothing

Don't worry bout mine, imma grind till i get it
And tell all of my niggas that the sky is the limit,
Because the sky is the limit,
Yeah, the sky is the limit,
And If you look high, you'll see that im goin be in it,
Cuz the sky is the limit,
They tell me dont get high, n i should try to make a living,
I tell em imma hustler n id rather make a killin
Cuz the sky is the limit,
Hands up in the air, because the sky is the limit,
Can you see me up there? The sky is the limit,

Yet the man says "The sky is the limit" so you think maybe it is possible, but you do not let it hit it you. You do not believe it, to do so would make you a punk just like all the other times you have believed it, and have been let down and felt as if the sky was not the limit, rather the weight of the world falling on your shoulders and crushing you beneath its weight and expectations. Yet for some reason you think that this time will be different but, who the fuck are you to know anything? You are a punk, a kid, a brat who just hopes for a chance to show that he has something worth of value within himself, some redeeming quality that can change the world. An idea that will make OBAMA blush.

Beyond your means?
Is it
Inside your dreams?
Can it
Never come out cause it's scared to
Unprepared to
Too worried about the words of the people it's weird to
You don't want them to hear you
You just wish there was a door that would appear that you can go disappear through

Then the phone rings, your world is on hold. You are frozen as the words get spoken, and you hope against every bone in your body that you will not disappear through that door. and somehow you manage to hear the words, that idea, from their side, that you are special, that you are worth something, and then you know

The sky is the limit

"

Ask questions

We were told that if we put our heads down, worked hard in high school, studied, went to class, paid attention that we would go to a good college. That should of tipped us off, it was the first lie they told us. Then they said, you will find yourself in college, but keep a good GPA, study hard, party hard on weekends, keep up with your work, do an internship or two, endear yourself to professors, graduate on time with some sort of honors, and you will get a good job, and life will flow smoothly from there. What a crock of shit. At that point we should have known something was up. Then they tell you to get a credit card, spend reasonably on it, within your means, build your credit, create a home, it is all good for when you need to get a mortgage on a house or a loan for that first car you buy in your name, and you follow, again alarm bells should be ringing at this point. Still you listen and follow the path. You get a car you cannot afford, because the dealer convinces you that really you can with some ‘fuzzy math’ and there you go, you get that nice pink slip within a few weeks. CONGRATULATIONS! Welcome to the world. Oh and before we forget, just wait, just wait till you see the bill you will get in about 25 years courtesy of what your current leaders, politicians, business men, lobbyists, and of course parents. Enjoy the rest of your life, because you will spend it paying off the excess and fuckups of the baby boomers and your parents, all because we are the least involved generation, who just tunes out, and gets the shortest end of the stick. Wake up guys. Start noticing that today’s decisions, bailouts, tax cuts, will be paid by YOU, China has no interest in acquiring more US debt, it is going to come out of your living standards, your paycheck and your hours spent at work away from your children to pay back today’s problems. We will be the first generation that has a lower standard of living in modern history.
Ask questions about how the $700 billion is going to be paid back? Why is no question being asked about bank management and their ridiculous bonuses and questionable decisions, but the Detroit crowd is getting killed for less than 5% of the money that was given to Wall St. And why does anyone let a bunch of Senators who are in the pocket of Toyota, Honda, BMW, Mercedes, and whose only goal is to LOWER wages of workers…how on earth does this make sense to anyone in the middle of a recession, why is no one writing letters to these idiots?

A few videos

Don't you love the shabby hair and unshaved face....cant you tell im unemployed with nothing on the horizon, yeah thats me alright! :)







Well listen to the description, sorry for the shaking, guess I gotta realize that the cellphone video camera is very sensitive.





yes i know, Spielberg better watch out, another jew is taking over!



So there you have it. The camera is the best i got, so thank my little nokia e65 (luna, jose) and bear with this bear till he gets a real camera. There you have my amateur tour of zagreb, hope you enjoy it :) I will be taking requests for future videos

When mario rescuses the princess!

Too funny, for all you Family Guy lovers, this will be a treat.

War between NZ and India

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Pakistani Threat - Bob Graham

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

the part at about 1:30 is hillarious, a war between india and new zealand.

I wont spoil the surprise, but benny lava is the best youtube clip ever!

Experience

You know what really irritates me: the catch-22 in life, that to get a damn job you need experience, but the only way to get a job is to get experience. It is such a stupid run around, and it has happened to me so many times here in Croatia already, where they say they want a young new worker, and end up hiring some middle aged guy who has experience. Do not get me wrong experience is not bad, but in a place like Croatia, and really all over the world these days, the same old ideas and methods just do not work. You need fresh ideas, approaches, creative new methods, and a new way of thinking. But it is so rare that any actual firm realizes this and instead they plow on with the status quo. The best way to see the folly of this is to look at all the biggest firms that were created in the last 25 years. Yahoo, Google, Amazon, Oracle, Dell etc, they were all started by fresh out of college kids, or even in college kids. Why because they have ideas and are aware of what is needed and how to go about filling those needs, they have new ideas for a new generation, unencumbered by people telling them that this wont work, we have to do it like this, it has always been done like this and so on. Really give me 5 companies that have sprung up in the last 25 years that revolutionized anything that were the brainchild of some 45 year old manager who has experience. Simple fact is that they are few and far between, at 45 you do not take risks and you are not inventive, whereas while you are young, you are at the forefront of everything. You set the trends, you create the initial wave of demand, you are the IT demographic, so it makes sense that if you wish to grow your business you should really consult those people who are a part of the generation that in the next 10 years will become your market, if any company is to achieve long term success the first thing they should do is realize that everything works on a generational cycle, and they should be planning to best suit the needs of the upcoming one. How do you do that? Get talented people from that generation to work for you, they are the ones who understand the mentality of their peers and they are the ones who know what products, services and needs are most likely to arise as they have a need for those products and services.

That is the problem in life, rarely are young people taken seriously, that is until they are the ones who are now middle aged and out of touch. Most struggles of such enterprising firms such as yahoo, microsoft, amazon, etc stems mainly from the fact that their founders have reached middle age, and are no longer able to anticipate and be on the cutting edge of development for the new generations. Then just like in politics and sports the same cast of characters that has 'experience' gets brought in to solve the problem, however they only tend to make it worse. Why? A complete and total lack of new ideas, it is like a merry go round of people who were IT for a different generation, but lacked the foresight to train the succeeding generation, because they are as always convinced of their own grandeur and limitless talents. Yet for some reason the same people keep getting the jobs, just like the NBA where usually there are a total of 45 coaches that just spin the wheel of employment, same in soccer, same in politics (the same tired old advisers, with the same old ideas) and same in business (where else could robert nardelli get a job so soon after destroying home depot so badly, and not only that, but get a job running Chrysler, as if HE could save the titanic, i mean honestly, there was no one else willing to take the job or what?)

WAKE UP PEOPLE, WHAT CUT IT 20 YEARS AGO JUST DOES NOT WORK TODAY!

Sunset over Jarun

I just got a cable to transfer files from cellphone to pc, so expect alot more videos from me.

Oh and this is my all time favorite

Nightblindness

Recently the cold has been on my mind a lot and how it makes me feel and all the little emotions that come with it, this may be strange but it is amazing that if you stop for a moment and in complete silence contemplate something. I know it is hard if you live in a city or there is a constant stream of noise emanating from all sides, so maybe take a walk to a park at night, or get up at an odd time of the night, open the window and just soak it in. The silence. It is overpowering. Magnificent and it is amazing how much clearer everything is. My gym is above a docking station for rowing equipment, and right next to a giant lake, surrounded by trees and open fields on both sides. That is it is in total isolation, or so it feels like, but even more importantly that is what it sounds like. So as I walked home a few nights ago, after working out to some loud music on the iPod, I decided to silence my permanent companion. Then it hit me, complete and utter silence. The cold was slowly numbing my legs, I was wearing shorts in 0 degree weather, but it was also providing me with the most refreshing air, in which each breath felt more alive than the preceding one. The lights in the distance, from buildings and a new arena being constructed, and from a few lamps was illuminating the rowing track in the most wonderful way. My mind was at peace, and breathing the cold air allowed me to realize something: We see the night as darkness and uncertainty as the unknown, the fear, a time for monsters and danger to run free. However I saw it completely differently this time, I saw it as beautiful, it transformed a muddy ugly puddle into a magnificent collection of leaves on semi frozen water that was a reflective black color and was immeasurably more magnificent then the sun could ever make it. The surrounding buildings are of the drab variety, made of concrete in a gray shade with small windows that are usually covered and decaying façade’s it is a sight for sore eyes during the day. Yet they look beautiful at night, there is no sense of it being decaying, the lights from inside cause a wonderful glow to be cast around the area, and the building loses all sense of its boring coloring and becomes something of a shaded artistic drawing with differing lights making it appear as so much more. The night rubs out the small imperfections in us and all around us, it sets us free from those blemishes and less us bask in our own light, allows us to change and be something else, something more than before—a collection of reflections, shades and illuminations—something the sun can never grant us. So here I am with a new sense of appreciation for perfect silence, cold weather, and the night (with no life tacked onto the back of it), who would have ever thought. So next time that you walk down a poorly lit alley or street, look at the windows and the walls and admire how it looks and the way that it too gets to hide its imperfections just like we do.

Once

An amazing song, the video i think was created by someone else. I do no believe it is anything official.

The song is called "Once" and it is by a South African Band called Henry Ate.

I was at the gym yesterday and a Lil Wayne song came on "I feel like dying" and as soon as I heard the background sample I knew I had to find this track, so within 5 minutes courtesy of google I had my answer.

bittersweet

Its quite a thing to get used to the cold. It is liberating and awakening, on the other hand, it is bitter and merciless.

Moments feel like an eternity as the wind streaks across your face and leaves it feeling alive and dead at the same time, and only when you touch it do you notice that in fact it is stiff and frozen in place. Your hands come out of the warm pockets to write a text message and before you are two words in, you notice that you do not feel how hard you have pressed the button and there is a sense of numbness you keep going, because in some perverse way that numbness feels more alive then anything else. The feeling of not feeling allows you to know that you are real, that you feel. Only when we lose something do we manage to realize how essential it is to our being, to who we are. The cold manages to make me feel more alive then the sun ever could, which is perverse for the sun gives me life, however the cold makes me realize I am alive. There is also an unspoken freedom in it being freezing and you not caring, unzipping the jacket, removing the beanie, spreading your arms and just letting go, letting the cold wash over you and only using your soul to warm your body. Everyone should try this, it is an amazing feeling. Respecting the adversary.

Other times, the cold is lashing at you with such ferocity that it makes you wish you were never alive to feel its misery. It chill's your bones to the point of where you are not sure you are or if you wish to be. It breeds a feeling of isolation from your fellow warriors, as everyone is huddled in bundles appearing as a furry balls from a distance. Getting up to walk to the bakery half awake with that morning breath still in your mouth, despite your best tooth brushing effort, when you know that a warm bed is still an option, is the cruelest moment of the day. The idea, that here you are still in dreamland trying to recall what it was your mind was so fixated on a mere 10 minutes ago as you step outside and, it hits you like a punch to the face, except a punch lasts a moment, the cold is there to stay, stinging you. So you brave it, try to embrace it and thus overcome it, but your mind is not in the same place in the morning as it is in the evening, and you struggle with the beast. Knowing you will prevail, but wondering why is the fight so bitter everyday, why is there a need for it. Where is the acceptance and accord that is reached in the evening in the morning. War.

I make a truce every evening with the cold, we embrace, confess our love for one another and leave the other at that moment. I go into my warm apartment, get under the covers and bask in the warmth. The cold moves on, readying for another fight. When it is time to leave the apartment in the morning, I forget last night, the cold does too, and we are at war once again. Perhaps the peace is reached because we know that we are done with each other for the day. And in recognition of the fight, respect for the adversary causes the truce.War. Respect.

Wishlist

Pearl Jam
"wishlist"

"I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on
The christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the grounds
For 50 million hands upraised and open toward the sky

I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me
I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me
I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good
I wish I was the full moon shining off a camaros hood

I wish I was an alien at home behind the sun
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on
I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on
I wish I was the verb to trust and never let you down

I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned up
I wish...
I wish..."

This has been in my head all day today and yesterday!

Capitalism is dead, Long live socialism

The following is taken from Economist's View

November 24, 2008
The Citigroup Bailout

It's bailout time. Let's start with Paul Kedrosky:

Good Bank, Bad Bank, and F---ed Bank: Apparently Citibank and the U.S. government (i.e., we taxpayers) have reached a deal whereby we will backstop something like $300-billion in screwed assets on Citi's balance sheet. ... Here is the gist:

* Citi will carve out $300-billion in troubled assets, which will remain on its balance sheet
o The first $37-$40-billion in losses on those assets will go to Citi
o The next $5-billion in losses will hit Treasury
o The next $10-billion in losses will go to the FDIC
o Any more losses will go to the Fed
* There will be no management changes at Citi, because, you know, they are all fine and upstanding people who have done nothing wrong
* There will be some compensation limitations, but those have not yet been made clear

To be clear, this is not a "bad bank" model. Assets are not, apparently, being taken off the Citi balance sheet and put into another entity walled off from the Citi biological host. Instead, they are being left on the Citi balance sheet, but tagged and bagged for eventual disposal via taxpayers. ...

I'll have more when there is more, and I know the equity futures markets like it -- it's admittedly less terrifying that letting Citi fail -- but so far I'm not impressed. ...

Yves Smith:

WSJ: US Agrees to Bail Out Citi (Updated): ...Note key element of the deal is that the Federal government will guarantee $300 billion of Citi assets, a much bigger number than had been leaked earlier, with a rather convoluted loss-sharing arrangement, but the bottom line is that Citi is at risk for at most $40 billion. Citi also gets a $20 billion equity injection, on slightly more onerous terms than the initial TARP investments, but still more favorable than Warren Buffett's investment in Goldman. Oh, and it appears there will be NO management changes.

I do not see how GM can be denied a rescue now (not that that outcome is really in doubt, merely how much pain will be inflicted on management and the UAW). ...

Update 12:50 AM: Bloomberg's story puts the bad asset program slightly higher, at $306 billion. ...

Calculated Risk has the Joint Statement by Treasury, Federal Reserve, and the FDIC on Citigroup, while James Kwak says the bailout is "Weak, Arbitrary, Incomprehensible." I think he has it right:

Citigroup Bailout: Weak, Arbitrary, Incomprehensible: According to the Wall Street Journal, the deal is done. Here are the terms. In short: (a) Citi gets another $27 billion on the same terms as the first $25 billion, except that the interest rate is now 8% instead of 5%, and there is a cap on dividends of $0.01 per share per quarter; and (b) the government (Treasury, FDIC, Fed) agrees to absorb 90% of losses above $29 billion on a $306 billion slice of Citi’s assets, made up of residential and commercial mortgage-backed securities. (If triggered, some of that guarantee will be provided as a loan from the Fed.) There is also a warrant to buy up to $2.7 billion worth of common stock (I presume) at a staggeringly silly price of $10.61 per share (Citi closed at $3.77 on Friday).

The government (should have) had two goals for this bailout. First, since everyone assumes Citi is too big to fail, the bailout had to be big enough that it would settle the matter once and for all. Second, it had to define a standard set of terms that other banks could rely on and, more importantly, the market could rely on being there for other banks. This plan fails on both counts.

The arithmetic on this deal doesn’t seem to work for me (feel free to help me out). Citi has over $2 trillion in assets and several hundred billions of dollars in off-balance sheet liabilities. $27 billion is a drop in the bucket. Friedman Billings Ramsey last week estimated that Citi needed $160 billion in new capital. (I’m not sure I agree with the exact number, but that’s the ballpark.) Yes, there is a guarantee on $306 billion in assets (which will not get triggered until that $27 billion is wiped out), but that leaves another $2 trillion in other assets, many of which are not looking particularly healthy. If I’m an investor, I’m thinking that Citi is going to have to come back again for more money.

In addition, the plan is arbitrary and cannot possibly set an expectation for future deals. In particular, by saying that the government will back some of Citi’s assets but not others, it doesn’t even establish a principle that can be followed in future bailouts. In effect, the message to the market was and has been: “We will protect some (unnamed) large banks from failing, but we won’t tell you how and we’ll decide at the last minute.)” As long as that’s the message, investors will continue to worry about all U.S. banks.

The third goal should have been getting a good deal for the U.S. taxpayer, but instead Citi got the same generous terms as the original recapitalization. 8% is still less than the 10% Buffett got from Goldman; a cap on dividends is a nice touch but shouldn’t affect the value of equity any. By refusing to ask for convertible shares, the government achieved its goal of not diluting shareholders and limiting its influence over the bank. And an exercise price of $10.61 for the warrants? It is justified as the average closing price for the preceding 20 days, but basically that amounts to substituting what people really would like to believe the stock is worth for what it really is worth ($3.77).

How does this kind of thing happen? A weekend is really just not that much time to work out a deal. Maybe next time Treasury and the Fed should have a plan before going into the weekend?

What, and ruin a perfect record? Robert Reich:

Citigroup Scores: If you had any doubt at all about the primacy of Wall Street over Main Street; the utter lack of transparency behind the biggest government giveaway in history to financial executives, and their shareholders, directors, and creditors; and the intimate connections the lie between Administrations -- both Republican and Democratic -- and the heavyweights on Wall Street, your doubts should be laid to rest. Today it was decided the government will guarantee more than $300 billion of troubled mortgages and other assets of Citigroup under a federal plan to stabilize the lender after its stock fell 60 percent last week. The company will also will get a $20 billion cash infusion from the Treasury Department, adding to the $25 billion the bank received last month under the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

This is not a particularly good deal for American taxpayers, but it is a marvelous deal for Citi. In return for all the cash and guarantees they are giving away, taxpayers will get only $27 billion of preferred shares paying an 8 percent dividend. No other strings are attached. The senior executives of Citi, including those who have served at the highest levels in the US government, have done their jobs exceedingly well. The American public, including the media, have not the slightest clue what just happened.

Meanwhile, more than a million workers in the automobile industry, along with six million mortgagees, and a millions of Americans who depend on small businesses and retailers for paychecks, are getting nothing at all.

As I noted the other day, the difference in urgency between saving wall street and saving main street is apparent.

John Jansen says somebody will pay for this:

Reaction to the Bailout: Tokyo is closed so there is no US Treasury trading this evening. We will have to wait for Europe to arrive to get a reaction.

Stocks are higher. That also seems ludicrous. I do not care what they call this but Citibank is effectively acknowledging that they did not have the resources to survive alone without government assistance. I did not use the words bankrupt or insolvent.

I think that when participants think about this soberly they will be very disturbed and I am saddened to say that the markets will line up one of the remaining survivors for a pre holiday turkey shoot. It has been the history of this rolling crisis since August 2007 that the worst outcome ensues. The market will seek another prey and relentlessly pursue it.

Update: Paul Krugman:

A bailout was necessary — but this bailout is an outrage: a lousy deal for the taxpayers, no accountability for management, and just to make things perfect, quite possibly inadequate, so that Citi will be back for more.

Amazing how much damage the lame ducks can do in the time remaining.

Update: More from Arnold Kling

For all of the Depression Mania, there is a lot of the U.S. economy that does not have to shrink. Manufacturing is pretty lean to begin with. Housing construction is already much lower than it has been in years. Unlike the 1930's, we have some very big sectors (health care, education, other government employment) that are unlikely to develop massive layoffs.

The one sector that definitely needs to contract is the financial sector. Maintaining Citi as a zombie bank is not really constructive. I would feel better if it were carved up, with the viable pieces sold to other firms and the remainder wound down by government. In my view, getting the financial sector down to the right size ought to be done sooner, rather than later.

From my perspective, the whole TARP/bailout concept is misconceived. The priority should not be saving firms. The priority should be pruning the industry. Get rid of the weak firms, and make good on deposit insurance. Then let the remaining firms provide the lending that the economy needs.

Update: Felix Salmon says the bailout is underwhelming.

Update: John Hempton:

The consensus is that the Citigroup bailout was bad...I am going to differ here. The bailout was well designed...
except
1). The Government should have taken a much larger fee - at least 20 percent ownership of Citigroup - and arguably more. Shareholders should be punished.
2). The attachment point of the excess of loss policy is too high. If the attachment point had been 80 billion Citigroup would survive. There was no need for a 40 billion dollar attachment point.
The problem with the bailout was not the design - it was the amount extracted from Citigroup shareholders. The government took too much risk for too little reward.
I am surprised that the shareholders were not effectively wiped out as per Fannie, Freddie, AIG.
Not displeased - but somewhere I wish the government would get a happy medium somewhere - rather than one rule Citigroup and one rule for Fannie.

Update: Andrew Samwick:

The technical term for this is a joke.

Citigroup has plenty of assets. It has just written too many claims on those assets. Those holding those claims need to face the reality that their claims are worth less than they were promised and adjust to that reality. That means either liquidating the firm, selling off the assets to the highest bidders, or becoming the new equity holders of the firm. The FDIC can get involved as needed to manage its contingent liabilities to insured depositors.

If the government is to get involved beyond that, it should be senior debt to the restructured entity, not preferred equity (i.e. junior to the most junior debt) to the existing entity.

Update: Barry Ritholtz:

Un-fricking-believable.

The US is guaranteeing $306 billion on bad investments (So much for Capitalism without failure). For Citi, its a great deal — but its a terrible one for taxpayers.

The dividend payment has been restricted to one cent per quarter for 3 years. Can someone explain why even a penny is allowed?

Where is the “Protection” for the taxpayers? Where are the clawbacks? How about going after the idiots that bought a third of a trillion dollars worth of junk, and then got paid large on it? Where is the sense of outrage and justice?

At what point do taxpayers demand that the people responsible for creating this mess must pay their pound of flesh?

Update: Brad DeLong:

It is unclear to me why they aren't just buying common stock. As it is, they're endangering their own reputations to an extraordinary degree...

My oh my, THAT IS A CONSESUS. Kids, go and thank your lame ducks in Washington for this. You are getting warrants for stock at $10 when it is worth $3 now. HA! That is the same level as buying a $5 bill for $15 dollars. Oh and all the management stays in place, despite it being them that got Citi into this mess. Oh and do not forget this is on top of the $700 billion already invested, plus the money used to sell Bear Sterns to JP Morgan, bail out AIG so they can have corporate retreats at luxury SPA's.

They have been able to do this, because the average senator, congressman, and media pundit has zero clue as to what the hell is going on. The people running the show are former Wall St. Execs that in a few months will be right back on those boards getting stock options for much better prices then the govt. for all their hard work in screwing your generation over.

So if anyone reading this has a shred of hope for their future, write a letter to your congressman, senator, governor, and object to Hank Paulson and his buddies fattening themselves at our expense. Now you all know why every kid in Business school dreams of working in Banking, because one day, for not to much work you can screw the world financial system and get the govt. to not only give you unlimited sums of money without any accountability but not even demand that you leave your job as a precondition. THAT IS JOB SECURITY WE CAN BELIEVE IN.

Obama, you have not taken office yet, and already you are a puppet.

YES WE CAN, screw the taxpayer, YES WE CAN

Can I top my shit again?

That is the question. Can you push yourself farther and harder then last time, and how do you do it? Now it is not my point that it is impossible to do so, but rather are you really at your limit when you think you are, and what is to say you cannot go past even that. I was thinking about all the records being broken in sports for example (tangent alert):

Michael Phelps has broken his own records for fun, and before that Ian Thorpe was breaking them and it seemed impossible that anyone could go faster, but they do, they always do. It is not as if Thorpe slacked off on the last few meters of a race and thus did not improve his times. He always improved his times, and then now, a few years later Phelps is doing the same thing. Except he is making Thorpe’s times seem pedestrian. I have no doubt that Phelps is a magnificent swimmer, I do not believe it is his suit or anything else that makes him faster than Thorpe, it is just the knowledge that someone went 1:09:49 and that it sure as hell is possible to get to 1:09:00 and lower. Really it is all a matter of believing.

How do you push yourself in non sports aspects to be better, something that is not necessarily quantified as a time for a specific race? More importantly why do you do so? Personal satisfaction, a sense of pride and honor, or just wanting to see what you are truly capable of doing? When do you know that you have reached that maximum and point which you will never be able to equal, and how do you deal with the implications that you will never scale those heights?



I am really interested in reading Malcolm Gladwell’s new book “Outliers” his basic premise is that you need at least 10,000 hours of training in something before you can become truly professional at it, and that IQ alone does not determine a whole lot. In an interesting interview with Stephen Colbert he revealed that probably the biggest reason Bill Gates believes he has become such a successful computer developer/writer etc is that when he was 13 his school bought a computer terminal and he was given a chance to use it.

Watch it below

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Malcolm Gladwell

Ron Paul Interview
Bob Barr Interview

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Be vewy, vewy quiet: I'm hunting wabbits!

one of the best cartoon moments ever. you gotta love bugs and daffy

When the man comes around

As anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis (J and ummm nobody else I guess) I have changed the name, that’s because I really never had a good idea for a name, and even this one is a work in progress. Really the reason that I am doing this blog is because I was once told that I have lived an interesting life and I know way too many shortcuts and tips for someone my age. I loved that I was being flattered; I think it was because they found my cooking to be outstanding and they wanted to be invited back next week to see what I would create that time. That is the thing with my cooking, no matter what I make, I guarantee you it will never taste like that again (yes even your pasta J). I will experiment on it till the death of me. Back to the topic the person told me that I should write a book or a blog that I make into a book down the road with suggestions on things I know and that can help those who don’t know, and I do not wish to be a douche but way too many of you out there do not know that you could be living a life far beyond your financial means (and no I do not mean that you can spend more money, but rather spend less and live far better).

I guess that this is my manifesto, I will tell you my ‘secrets’ to living far better then you currently are on a smaller budget then you are currently. Yes it is totally pretentious to assume that, but hey one has to be to even write a blog and assume anyone else cares to read it.

So yesterdays recipe can be changed a hundred ways, using any different kinds of seasoned hams or cured ones (prosciutto’s) to cheeses (but please no American, or cheese product, try to use cheese’s that are full of flavor) but really it is a cheap dinner that would cost you a minimum of 20$ a plate at any restaurant, and you can make 4 plates for that price. Not to mention you look impressive and talented and really any schmuck can do it. You can also use pork medallions that you thin out well, or even steaks (beef or veal (if u can get veal do it, its extra $ but the taste is worth it)) that you pound out. So instead of going out for dinner next time and blowing 100$ at a restaurant with lousy service, shitty tasteless food and a crappy ambient (let’s face it most are just like that, and I worked in the industry so I know) cook him/her a beautiful dinner that they will remember forever. It worked for me; she has been mine ever since she had the first bite of the salad I made.

Partying and looking like a playboy and getting into events that 200-300 people are waiting at the door for while you walk in like a VVIP (that’s right, everyone is a VIP with facebook these day’s all that means is that more schmucks are at the door of a club waiting to get in because they are on the same list as 1000 other people, you want to have that extra V, trust me) will be discussed ad nauseam.

Please feel free to comment. If there is anything that everyone should do every day is speak up for what they think is right and true, otherwise you are wasting a right that millions died for.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.

LAVS CHICKEN CORDON BLEU

LAVS CHICKEN CORDON BLEU

For 4 people:

4 large skinless, boneless chicken breasts

8 Slices of Boars Head Pesto Parmesan Ham or Rosemary Sundried Tomatoes Ham, Medium Slices

4 pieces of a Boars Head Gouda or Smoked Gruyere (12 slices in that case cause smaller) or 8 slices of Swiss Cheese, all medium cut

Butterfly the breasts in half and pound them out a little so they thinner and longer and cook better, but leave the last edge closed, layer the slice of ham in the middle making sure all of it fits within the open breast on one half, put half the cheese slice on top of the ham, and then put the other slice of ham on top of that, and again put the 2nd half to the cheese slice on top. And close the breast by folding the other half over.

Beat 3 eggs (I use large eggs, if you use small ones use a few more) and add salt and pepper to it, I also add basil and a bit of crushed pepper. Pour mixture into a bowl.

Get flour and pour a an amount to cover a regular plate about half an inch think

Get bread crumbs and pour into a bowl, pour a lot as u will need them.

Get a breast and put in flour coating it well all over. Next take the floured breast and dip it in the beaten egg mixture, turn it over to coat on both sides, there should be no dry traces of flour on the breast and it should be covered in a nice eggy coat. Then bring the breadcrumbs plate close by and drop the breast into that. Flip it to coat on other side, again making sure that it is well covered with bread crumbs and at no part can u see chicken or egg or flour.

Pour oil into a pan covering it nicely all over with oil, if desired use olive oil, if not vegetable oil is ok too. Heat it till its hot, then drop the breasts into the oil on medium heat, after 3-4 minutes reduce heat (we have a stove from 1-9, I put it on 5 for first 3-4 minutes, then I drop it to 4) after about 7-9 minutes flip it over, make sure that it is nicely darkened, not burned but has a healthy golden coat. Again increase heat to 5 for first 3-4 minutes to get golden color, then drop it heat to 3, for last 3-4 minutes.

Serve Immediately, with mashed potatoes/broccoli/asparagus/peas/pasta that can be tossed in olive oil and garlic/ or roasted potatoes

ENJOY!

Hooligans and Appalachian voters

I also have a question based on a conversation I had last night. What amount of money would it take for you to play for a rival football/basketball/etc team? Basically pick the team you are most attached to, and then imagine how much money it would take for you to play for their biggest rivals.
Neven claims that even for 1 million Euros he would not play for Hajduk (Dinamo’s biggest rivals), which to me seems nuts, not because of the money, but the fact that you are a professional first and foremost, and it is only a season that you have to spend there. I even added the caveat to him that he would be able to most likely have his pick of the girls in the region :p as all would be enthralled with him playing for the home club and he still refused. I always thought if you appeal to two things to a man, money and sex, that they take it. But he held steadfast. Good for Neven. Really I threw in the women throwing themselves at him option just because I wanted to see if it would weaken his resolve even a little, again commend the man, he did not flinch.
What about the rest of you?
I think that for 1 million Euros (which is not even a lot) I would be playing for whatever team wants me. Neven said it is because I do not feel at home anywhere and thus have no real ties to a place. If I insulted my ‘home city’ by going to the biggest rivals I could never walk down the street in (Zagreb, Miami, or wherever my home might be) again without looking over my shoulder and having some hooligan crack me. Maybe he has a point but really, I love soccer/basketball and all that, but even though I never said it before 'it is just sports' it feels like so much more at the time of the game or tournament. But really it is a game, the players treat it as a job that they do and get paid for, passions are high but at the end of the day 'it is just sports.'

Now I am going to offend some people, actually I am going to offend a lot of people.

And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy toward people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Now substitute this being poor folks from the Appalachian states in the US (West Virginia, Pennsylvania, etc) and guns and religion for football hooligans and their clinging for their local team (with knives, bats and guns usually). It comes out to the same thing, they cling to some loyalty to a club—whose management could give a toss about them and will sell every half decent player for a profit the first chance they get—for the same reasons, lack of jobs, structure in their lives, and a sense of a purpose past the weekly football match (the biannual election season where ‘morals’ become a tipping point for millions of voters)
It is my hypothesis that hooligans in Europe face the same socioeconomic conditions that rural white folks do in America—lack of jobs, career opportunities, and a more broad view of the world—and thus act out the same way. They repress these emotions at their jobs, homes (sometimes not so much) and then take it out on Sunday after the game by bashing the heads of the other fans for fun. The voters repress in the same way: their jobs (if they have not been outsourced) are under threat by downsizing, their neighborhood looks less homogenic, foreign religions are scaring them, not to mention that two houses down the road Adam and Steve are living together. So they act out when elections come around and vote for those who promise they will stop outsourcing, keep guns easily available, ban immigrants and ban gay marriage.
I will do more research on this in the future. But think about it, are the two groups not alike: uneducated, poor, male, frustrated at the world, and easily manipulated.

Kick Push

So we Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Kick, Push Coast
And the way he roll just a rebel to the world with no place to go

I have been lazy this last month. My old gym membership expired, my thinking that I would soon have a job and move to Jarun resulted in me hesitating joining a new gym till I moved. I lost some of the definition it took me all summer to build, and now I will have to work my ass off to get it back.
So today I decided was the best day to start, a nice Saturday quite chilly wind was lightly blowing and the sky was a white/blue-ish haze of autumn. It must have been about 8-10 degrees Celsius (46-50 Fahrenheit). I just started out thinking let me run 2 miles (3.2km) and I will be happy, and then somehow it felt like I had not missed a run in months, and full of energy I easily did 5km (3.1 miles) at a brisk pace.
I even managed to find my future gym after my run and the guy running it seemed friendly, he even appreciated the fact that I am 'amerikanac' as I am told so often here. The gym has a sauna which sounds intriguing, but I know already that it will be one of those things that I will always say 'to do' and will never get around to it.

Happy to have pushed myself today, and look forward to running at least once a day for the next few weeks, ideally I would like two a days with Gym after the first run.

Belief

So you sit down, round a table, as equals, or so you presume. Then the introductions begin and you wonder where you are, and how can you measure up. Your confidence begins to waver and you question who you are and why you are even here. Feeling out of place can easily sap your self confidence and your belief. Yet hang on in there, because for all you know, it is just a fancy firm/title they have and chances are they are no better then you, just luckier so far. Luck has a strange way of paving the road when its rough, or roughing up the even road, so just remember that, everything evens out in the end-we are all born, we all die. The task arrives. You are puzzled but hell if you can do anything in life it is sell an idea/project/night out. You hear the rest of them and all of a sudden their titles and experience wash away and all you see is a confused stranger who is no more sure in his words then a baby with its first steps. All of a sudden you realize what you have in front of you is looking better and better. Your fear dissipates, confidence grows, heart calms, hands steady, voice in your head becomes firm. Then as it comes around you realize that just before you speak your stomach churns and twists, but not because you are scared. No you wonder how good will you be...

And so it was.

I do not know if I did. I know in their minds and critiques I won, but that honestly was not a difficult task. I had that one thing that most people in this world lack.

Belief in myself.

The cold wind welcoming me

I am a warm person, that is to say, I like it warm. I love being hot. I have dreaded the cold for a long time, and I was quite scared I would never be able to adapt to it. To my total surprise yesterday I had a moment. I LOVED the feeling of a cold wind on my face, and the relentless pound of lil wayne on my eardrums, made me aware, that for the first time in my life I was enjoying the cold. The wind chilling my cheeks and stiffening them, my hands white and slowly turning pink, and yet there I was dancing my way down the street (in a manner that would have jenny pretending she did not know me had she seen me) and not caring bout anything in the world. Save for that cold wind and finally accepting it, and loving it.

It has not been an easy transition to leave paradise and all of its wonders-that I tried to never take for granted but like everyone else there I did-and start anew in a foreign place that was home but did not feel like home. Though if I have learned anything in these last 3 years of life it is that any place can be home as long as you let it be. There is no shortage of people in this world who will do all they can to help you and make you feel as comfortable as possible anywhere you happen to be. The key though is embracing that feeling and making your own home wherever you are.